Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are I hope you have blue skies and let’s talk about sex toys. Welcome to That Other Lifestyle podcast. I am your host Jayson, leave Vanilla behind as we dive into the Lifestyle.
If you tuned in last episode, you know this week we are continuing our journey through sex toy land. It’s real fun. From the Dildo Forest of the north to the lube ocean to the south, majestic butt plugs rise in the distance and the sun shines bright on this heathen land. Sex toy land is a cornucopia of fun for everyone.
Before I go any further, I need to share. I am now an affiliate for Motor bunny. I will be giving an unbiased review based on my personal experience with these machines later in this episode. Spoiler. Awesome machine but expensive. If you are interested in getting your own motor bunny, please use code thatotherlifestyle, all one word at checkout. Helps me out and you get a cool new 1 horsepower sex toy.
In other news. I did it. My second course is done. Woo Hoo. I created a Men’s Guide to Flirting in the Lifestyle. The idea came from my beautiful wife, and I ran with it. This course is hyper focused on flirting in the Lifestyle as it says in the name. Yes, the title is long, but I wanted to be specific about the content.
The biggest difference between my course and the vanilla pick up artists and dating gurus out there is I don’t teach how to overcome objections. All these vanillas pick up artists, half their content is how to deal with rejections or flip a no to a yes or convince a woman to sleep with you.
In the Lifestyle, no means no means no. If a woman says no, there is no convincing her or tricking her or overcoming her objections. No is a no. To me that is a fundamental difference in the way the lifestyle and vanilla worlds work. We take a no and move on, not get scummy and try to manipulate our way into sex. You succeed on your own merit, appearance and personality, not manipulative tricks.
The course is 9 lessons covering the basics, digital communication, and I answer the age old question, how to tell if a woman is flirting with you. Straight up. I tell you what to look for. One course. $29.99. That’s it. No monthly membership or ongoing fee for access. Pay the money, watch the videos. Read the books.
I am doing an official launch webinar on SDC on October 3, 2024, at 4pm Central Standard Time, same day this episode comes out. That’s some bad planning Jayson. Come hang out with me live on the air.
Go to thatotherlifestyle.com, top banner on the page will take you to the course. Please check it out. Buy it for a friend. Makes a great stocking stuffer. Surprise your husband. If a guy at an event sucks at flirting, recommend the course. Tell him you heard an awesome podcast, and the host did an awesome course to help men get better at flirting. Do all that.
National Lifestyle Weekend. June 19-21, 2025. Next year in Vegas. Every week this event gets better and better as more sponsors and clubs and event promoters sign up. There is a super special early bird discount available until October 31st. Go look up the NWL group on SDC for details. Shhh it’s a secret for all the cool kids on SDC. Don’t have an SDC account. You just go right on over to thatotherlifestyle.com and get you an account.
Please note this podcast is intended only for adults. Not safe for work. We will talk about adult or sexual topics, and I will use salty language, often. This content is for entertainment purposes only and again only for those over 18 years of age.
I also try to be as inclusive with my language and terms as I can. It can be challenging to formulate and write and say all the inclusive terms in every instance. For simplicity's sake and time management, I may use terms like husband or wife or partner, or spouse for the purpose of the narrative I am sharing. This podcast is for everyone though, no matter your background, gender identity, gender expression, or whatever truth you may be living. Everyone is welcome no matter how you personally experience the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy.
More talk about sex toys. Glorious, fun, sex toys. Last week I talked about sex toy safety and this week, let’s round out this topic with random bits of information I can’t figure out how to fit into a cohesive episode.
How much is the sex toy industry worth? Current estimates put the global sex toy industry at over $38 billion dollars. That is more than the home fitness equipment market and the legal cannabis industry. The market is projected to reach 52 billion dollars by 2030.
The majority of customers worldwide are between 25 and 49 years old. Breaking this down by region, Australia comes in at 600 million dollars annually, USA is 9 billion while Europe is a generous 12 billion dollars. The industry is trending towards more smart toys and the integration of technology. More on that in a bit and most people globally buy sex toys online at 60% of overall sales.
I want to highlight Europe or the European Union for a minute and give them kudos and applause. My last episode I went deep on sex toy safety, specifically how to find body safe products. To the EU’s credit, they made laws.
The REACH regulation enacted in 2007, put in place strict regulations on materials, particularly those that are body safe. Phthalates were restricted in all products including sex toys. Manufacturers must provide proof their products comply with the requirements and the regulation enforces standards for products to be considered body safe or food safe.
Many manufacturers go one step further by conducting biocompatibility testing, ensuring a product is safe for prolonged contact with the human body. If you are in the market for toys you want to know for sure is safe, look to suppliers from Europe.
There is sex toy award shows as well. Presenters include XBIZ Award, AVN, Erotic Trade Only and Fempowerment. Awards are given for best new design, best overall design, pleasure ability, and innovation.
And sex toys are going mainstream. Remember 50 shades of Gray, that book that came out in 2011. That book had a significant, huge impact effect on sex. Every aspect. It was everywhere that summer. Women devoured this book. All great movements in history start with a book and this was a sexual revolution for the vanilla world.
Vanilla couples were and now are interested in bdsm and butt plugs and make sex spicy. The book showed that there was were different ways to enjoy sex besides 2 minutes of missionary in the dark on a Thursday night. It sparked conversations about sex, sex toys, bdsm, sexual exploration. That book and Sex in the City. Wild sex, good sex, different sex became okay to talk about, under the guise of sharing the book with others.
The vanilla world can’t outright talk about sex. No that is taboo and weird, but if they are sharing what’s in the book, that’s okay. They have a framing device to make it acceptable. Lifestyle people we can talk about butt stuff then slip right into favorite crock pot recipes without missing a beat.
Whatever your opinion of about 50 shades of gray, and I say all this having not read the book. I read the spoiler online, that book made so many conversations okay. So many people consumed that book that suddenly there was a new shared language of sex. Everyone who partook in that story shared this bonding experience.
Suddenly all these ladies who would never consider anal let alone even touching buttholes are thinking about being strapped down, paddled, spit on and fucked. The power of the written word, I guess. That book made BDSM mainstream, for better or worse. It made the idea of owning sex toys, not that bad.
Now sex toys are going mainstream. You can find products marketed for sexual wellness or couples toys, in big box retailers. Or the ever-popular phrase marital aid. We know what it is, and you don’t have to be shy about it.
Walmart sells a vibrating cock ring and a vibrator. I think Trojan makes them. They have these tiny rinky dinky little motors. Ain’t worth a shit but boom right there next to the condoms and lube.
There have been genuinely good advances in the market and science of sex toys. There are now specialized sex toys for seniors and the differently abled on the market. Everybody wants to get off, don’t make it harder than it needs to be.
A few more types of sex toys I didn’t get to in the last episode. When I first saw a glass dildo part of me cringed, deep in my soul. As someone who was once cut very badly by a sharp piece of glass, my instinct is to recoil in fear and run away screaming.
Good news. Glass sex toys are usually made from borosilicate glass, which is shatter resistant, thankfully. Plus, very durable. Which makes sense. There is a reason a gun will not go off if you drop it because that would be highly unsafe. Exact same concept with glass sex toys. If there was a danger it would break, it wouldn’t be on the market.
Glass is a good material for sex toys. Non-porous, non-reactive, which means you can use any kind of lube with it, easy to clean, see my dishwasher rule from the previous episode. Glass toys are good for temperature play. You can put it in the fridge or wrap it in a heating pad to add a little more spice to an encounter. Notice I said fridge, not freezer.
Here’s a pro tip I am dropping in as I edit this script. Heating pads are a sex toy game changer. Here’s the scenario. You and your spouse grab a toy from the night stand and it is at room temperature, which can feel cold to delicate body parts. Heating pad is the way to go. 15 minutes before you get frisky, granted this requires pre-planning and horny brains are terrible at that.
Get the toy you want to use and wrap it in a heating pad. The heating pad will bring it up to body temperature or slightly higher. Check the temperature before you use it. I recommend rubbing it on the inside of your wrist. That skin is thin and sensitive. When the temperature is right, use it. Fucking game changer right there.
Downside of glass sex toys. Them little bastards get slippery. Put a drop of lube on there and you have now created a slippery hard missile that will fly out of your hands the first chance it gets. Don’t drop it. Shatter resistant does not mean shatter proof. Always check the entire surface for chips or knicks as well.
Lube. Been talking about toys, but what do you use to help make these toys more fun? Lubrication. Lube. There are different kinds of lube for different applications and procedures. Some are better for one kind of sex over others.
Lube is fucking amazing and completely underrated. To address misogynistic bullshit, I have heard from men. Using lube does not make you less of a man. Using lube does not mean you are incapable of making a woman horny or wet. You don’t make women anything. Women get horny, their bodies will react. Not all women get dripping wet. There is a man out there that needs to hear this. Wetness is not indicative of horny-ness. It is a physical process that can be affected by hormones, hydration, age and other factors. Lube is good. Accept and embrace it.
Lube bottles. Quick little side story. Most lube comes in plastic containers; you drop it and no problem. Might bounce but still contained. A friend told me they had a bottle of lube in a glass container, which got very slippery and dropped, on the tile floor of their bathroom. That floor stayed slippery for months. But Jayson, you can just wipe it up, oh no. This lube was designed to be thick and stick. Spilling lube on tile is a fucking nightmare to clean up. Put a towel on the floor.
Lube keeps the party going. A woman’s natural lubrication may run dry after a few hours of fucking. And dry sex is unhappy sex. A good party host will always provide lube for their guest. We got two of the pump bottles, the kind you usually use for soap. Fill it up with lube. Easy dispensing and no mess.
Water based lube. Pros. Cleans easy. Water based lube will wash off your body with minimal effort unlike other kinds. Works will all materials, like will no degrade latex condoms or silicone sex toys. Available in different textures. Did you know lube has textures. Some are runny, some are gels, some are very thin. I am learning.
Silicone based lubes. This stuff is the devil. I shouldn’t be that harsh it does have its uses. Silicone based lubes are good for water activities. Fucking in pool, silicone lube will work. And it lasts a long time. Silicone based lube is good for anal sex. Downsides and this is why I say it’s the devil. Silicone based lubes will degrade latex, i.e. most condoms. It will damage silicone sex toys. And this stuff is so hard to get off your body. It takes scrubbing.
Oil based lubes. Coconut oil is the most popular. If you go this route, make sure you get pure coconut oil. No additives. It can double as a massage oil and smells nice. Then there is petroleum jelly, please don’t use this unless everyone is on board with a big mess. Baby oil is not a lube. Downside of oil based lubes. Just like silicone lubes, hard to clean, messy, not ideal for vaginal use.
There are natural lubes and medical lubes available for those with sensitive skin. If you have allergies or other kinds of lubes irritate your skin, ask your doctor for options.
Going on my list of just don’t fuck with these. Flavored lubes. Sounds great in theory, makes oral sex more fun. No. This shit is just thick Kool-Aid that will stain everything around it, despite what the bottle says. Plus, they have high levels of sugar which can adversely affect vaginas. Don’t fuck with warming or temperature reactive lubes. You can’t control how hot or how cold these lubes may get and then someone will have a very awful surprise on their sensitive parts. There was yelling and unhappy genitals. It happened to me.
Finally numbing lubes. These lubes contain lidocaine or benzocaine. They numb the skin. Traditionally used for anal sex. They can reduce the discomfort from anal sex. They can also numb you to the point that you can’t feel pain. Pain is the body’s way of saying please remove the large object from my anus as it is doing damage.
I only recommend water-based lubes. While I have encountered other kinds and have funny stories as a result, yeah only type for me is water-based lubes. I don’t have to worry about my lube turning a condom to mush, I don’t have to worry about wild temperature swings and most commercially available water-based lubes are safe for the kind of sex we will get into to.
There is an etiquette to sex toys. Ask first. Don’t wipe out the purple double headed dildo with an expecting look on your face without asking first. Speaking of double headed dildos why are they always purple or pink? Pro tip if two women decide to use the double headed dildo, ass to ass it way easier to manage than missionary style. Ass to ass accommodates different body sizes easier.
Always clean your toys after an adventure so they are clean for the next adventure. And charge those batteries too. If you are sharing toys, use a condom or at least wash them off between partners. The traditional etiquette for group play or parties is bring your own toys. If you go to a party, offer to share but remember everyone has their own preference on types of pleasure. The host of a party or orgy may have items available.
Sex toy sanitizer is a thing. I went to look up an ingredient list because I figured meh make your own. No. Get the real stuff. The real sex toy sanitizer has antibacterial agents, which I love and surfactants which also love. You need to know if you use a sanitizer on a toy, do you need to wash off the sanitizer before it can be used on someone else at once or is it body safe as is. And check material compatibility.
I know I have made all this sound so complicated and if you are getting started on your lifestyle or sex toy journey, keep it simple. If you are vanilla and stumbled on this show, start small. Get a vibrator. Get a silicone dildo. Get water-based lube. Easy way to start. Then you can build out a collection based on personal preference and whatever you find that might look fun. You don’t have to be lifestyle to enjoy sex toys. It helps because you have friends to share the fun with. But you don’t have to be.
Teledonics. This is the new age, the new world of human pleasure. Remote controlled, Bluetooth enabled, wi-fi compatible fuckery machines for the new breed of sexual deviancy.
I mentioned this earlier and it’s time to talk about Motorbunny. I am an affiliate. Use promo code Thatotherlifestyle at checkout to get a discount. I am a proud owner of a Motorbunny and my review and opinion is very unbiased as I want to be honest with everyone.
We got our base model of Motorbunny as few years ago. Base model with a wired control box. There is a new version that uses Bluetooth to control the machine. What is a Motorbunny?
It is a vibrating mound, about a foot high, that a person will straddle and enjoy various attachments. When I say vibrate, this ain’t a little buzzing, no this concrete shaking vibrations. We must put a yoga mat under ours for safety. They do work on a bed though not as stable for hardcore riding.
The machine we have vibrates and twirls. There are new models that can even thrust. The machine comes with various attachments that are placed over a knob on the top of the machine. Some are low profile providing only clitoral stimulation while others may have phallic shaped choice for penetration. Or twirling. Yes, it can twirl the attachment inside you. And vibrate. The control panel has knobs to operate the twirl and the vibrate feature separately and both knobs go up to 11 which is just bad ass.
Okay so what do you do with it someone out there is asking? You sit on it. Line up your delicate bits with the attachment and turn it on. The 1 setting is very mild. 5 is getting too extreme and I have seen a few women conquer level 11. I wish I had little trophies for them.
If you do get a Motorbunny, get a bunch of attachments. I think it comes with three but if you are having a party, get a variety. People may want just clitoral stimulation, others want penetration. Try to get a range of options. Plus, for safety you should really clean each attachment between people. And good news the Motorbunny attachments are dishwasher safe.
Downsides, it’s heavy and pricey. This is a big bulky machine, so you probably won’t be pulling this out with your wife for a quickie. I highly recommend it though if you are the kind of couple that throws parties or host other couples. It’s fun to haul this thing out and see who can go the highest and sit the longest. Some women are intimidated by it too. This is not for the faint of vagina.
Totally normal, some ladies like very light pressure, others prefer more aggressive stimulation. If you or your wife tend to be on the light side, y’all may never get past level 3. Leaving 8 levels of fun untested.
The other downside, this machine, as durable and well-made as it is, is pricey. Talking about at least 900 USD for the base model. Bluetooth and thrusting cost more. That’s why I say this is a great investment if you throw parties or orgies or have people over. Ain’t an everyday kind of toy. It could be. It should be.
I recommend it. There are really no cheaper options for a device of this kind, but it is an investment, an investment in fun.
Back to teledonics. The term comes from a book written in 1974 called Computer Lib/Dream Machines by Ted Nelson. He wrote about a world where computers would control sexual relations between people. This is the kind of book that could only be written in the 1970s at the height of an LSD trip.
In the 1980s we saw the invention of the Fleshlight, I had no idea it was that old, and devices that could provide haptic feedback. As the internet and bandwidth and wireless technology advanced so did the field of teledonics. Now you and your partner can interact with sex devices on opposite coast of a country.
I see this field broken into two parts. The real and the not real. The real is actual devices you can interact with and the not real is virtual reality. On the real side of devices, we have good options. Love sense. I personally recommend Love sense. Not a sponsored endorsement. They are just really fun toys.
Love sense, their whole niche is Bluetooth and wireless enabled sex toys. You got the vibrator, put the vibrator on the naughty bits then someone else can control the vibrators via a smartphone, from anywhere. All you need is an access code, and you can make anyone cum anywhere on the planet. Other companies offering similar technology is We-Vibe and Kiiroo.
I have seen devices that partners can share an experience together. One machine does thrusting the other has a haptic feedback sleeve. There is no better way to say this. Seems way too complicated when you could video chat and use your hands.
Jumping straight into dystopian horror is virtual reality and haptic feedback suits. If you have a vr headset, there are porn sites out there that offer VR porn. I don’t see this taking off in the future. I could be wrong. Trying to whack it with a big bulky headset on, seems like a lot of trouble versus traditional porn watching. Then if you pair the VR porn with a haptic feedback suit, go touch grass. Just fucking outside. You need sunshine.
I know there are people who invent and make these devices that mean well. They genuinely want to make the world a better place, but you will never convince me that VR sex is better than real sex. You miss so much. The heat of another body, the passion, the noises. I feel the people who invent these things have no idea what good sex is. If they knew what good fucking is, they would be trying to have sex with humans more. No matter the marketing a Fleshlight is a not the same as a vagina.
As an experiment, I looked up AI sex on google. Because AI is being shoved into everything from toilets to water bottles, I figured someone out there has smashed AI with sex in some way. Most results are for AI Chatbots, which are usually generative language models. They are not actually interacting with you. These chatbots generate the best text in response to your prompt.
We also have a rise in AI generated porn. Ain’t a fan of this either. Porn is hard work, and you need to support ethical creators. The problem with AI is that no one has figured out how to use it for sex. Not just fancy masturbation with a voiceover either.
Sex, porn, the sex industry has been responsible for the greatest advancements in human technology in the past two hundred years. Some of the very first photographs ever taken were nudes. Motion pictures, as soon as a person realized we could point a camera at a naked woman and see her move, boom invention of adult films.
In the 1970s, Porn helped settle the war between Betamax and VHS and then two decades later, porn settled the war between Blue-ray and whatever the hell that other format was called. The ability to transact with a credit card over the internet was driven by the sex industry. Streaming. The technology for streaming was pioneered by adult industry and websites. There is a correlation between phone screen size and internet capability. Screens got bigger as people realized they could watch porn on them.
And early adoption of cryptocurrency like Bitcoin was by sex workers and adult content creators. I haven’t figured out how going to the moon helped us advance sex as a species, but it did.
Are sex toys legal where you live? Running through different countries where I have listeners. India. Kind of. The sale and promotion of sex toys is considered obscene but there is no specific ban on private ownership.
Saudi Arabia. Banned. Straight up banned. You need to know this in case you ever go there. Don’t bring your sex toys from home. Customs will confiscate them. You could face fines for having them as well.
United Arab Emirates, so Dubai, sex toys, sale and possession are illegal. Customs will confiscate them. In Malaysia and Thailand and Vietnam, no sex toys allowed for personal use. Customs will confiscate them here too.
While I am talking about places that ban sex toys, spin the globe around to Alabama in the USA. I have been to Alabama. I have been to sex shops in Alabama, so I have personal input on this. Alabama has a law in place, right now in 2024, that prohibits the distribution of quote “any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.” Possession is not illegal, selling these devices without a medical or education purpose is restricted.
Which means and I have seen this, in sex shops in Alabama, there is always a big sign that says these items are for educational purposes only. Other shops make you sign a waiver that the sex toy you are buying will not be used for sexual stimulation.
And this ain’t outdated bullshit from the 1950s that no one got around to changing, no this was enacted in 1998. Most of us were alive then. Violation of the law is a misdemeanor resulting in up to a 10,000-dollar fine or one year in jail. And this law only applies to brick-and-mortar stores, not online sales. Pretty sure the politicians who wanted to protect our moral decency didn’t anticipate that new fangled internet taking off when they wrote the law.
Russia, Singapore, China and South Korea have more relaxed laws about sex toys than Alabama.
Texas had a similar law until 2008. Prior to 2008, the state of Texas in the USA, that big one everyone can find on a map, banned the sale of sex toys. They were still sold as novelties and medical devices. The stupidest part was that by possession of more than six sex toys was illegal. Thankfully this law was overturned in 2008.
Speaking of confiscation by customs, let’s talk about traveling with your toys. Good news, the motor bunny has an optional carrying case. Get the case. Use promo code thatotherlifestyle at checkout.
Traveling with your sex toys. I already listed out countries you should not bring your vibrators and dildos too. Use your hands like our ancestors. If you are traveling with your sex toys, in the USA you should be golden everywhere. Worst that will happen is TSA pulls out your vibrator or dildo in the line and I promise you they see worse than that every day. Yes, having TSA pull your dildo out of your bag is embarrassing but it is not illegal. At least in the States.
Take the batteries out of any sex toys you are putting in your checked bags. If you can’t take the batteries out, you probably have a lithium-ion battery in that toy and need to follow the applicable regulations. Smaller toys are better and leave them in their original packaging if you can. If you are traveling with lube, put it in a Ziploc bag. Then another bag. It is a nightmare if that lube leaks onto your stuff.
If you have been hanging out with me this long and like the podcast I have an ask. I am so close to 20,000 downloads. Which for me is a huge milestone in the life of this podcast. If you like the show, help me hit and pass this goal. Tell your friends. Tell your LS friends. Share it on social media. I have a TikTok where I share snippets of the episodes and random stuff that crosses my mind. My name on TikTok is that.other.lifestyle. Repost and like my TikTok’s would be a huge help as well. I started this show in February, and it has grown so much, and I know it can become so much more.
I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics, so feel free to reach out to me. Men’s Guide to Flirting in the Lifestyle course is coming next week. Go to Thatotherlifestyle.com next week to get the course.
My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I am a guy with a microphone, sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and please join us for the next episode.
Whatever you may do today, I hope it is a fantastic time doing it. Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.
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