Episode 65 – Business of the Lifestyle

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to That Other Lifestyle Podcast: Exploring Lifestyle Businesses! I am your host, Jayson. Leave Vanilla behind as we pull back the curtain on lifestyle businesses.

This podcast is for adults only. We’ll be diving into adult and sexual topics with plenty of colorful language, so it’s not safe for work. If you’re under 18, this isn’t the place for you. This show is all about exploring the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy. It’s open to everyone, no matter your background, gender identity, expression, or personal truth. While I do my best to use inclusive language, you might hear terms like husband, wife, or partner for simplicity’s sake. This show is for everyone—lifestyle enthusiasts, vanilla folks, and the curious.

Connect With Us!

Want to connect? Send me an email at host@thatotherlifestyle.com, or visit my website at thatotherlifestyle.com. Everyone is welcome here because the lifestyle is about so much more than you think.

The Business of Lifestyle

Last week, I mentioned lifestyle businesses and went on a rant about that. After posting the episode and while sitting on a sailboat this weekend, I decided to delve deeper into the business side of lifestyle.

Let me clarify: this was not a relaxing sailboat ride. It was a frantic fury of ropes and winches. I’ve learned there are two types of boat owners in this world. One group doesn’t want you to touch anything; they want to be the captain. The other group, however, engages you to participate. They love their boat and want everyone to learn how to operate it.

A Lesson from the Sea

Don’t buy a boat; find a friend with one. Sailboats serve as a great analogy for lifestyle businesses. From the shore, a calm sailboat seems peaceful and relaxing. You might think it’s just riding the waves, going wherever the wind may take you. But you’d be mistaken. Sailboats are an orchestra of ropes, jibs, fabrics, and winches that can sheer the skin right off your hands. The ride can be wild and intense. After ten minutes of peaceful sailing, you always have to adjust again.

Similarly, from the outside, lifestyle businesses may look like well-oiled machines. Inside, however, there’s the same chaotic energy, hidden behind the scenes. When you witness the best events, you don’t see the chaos that makes them happen. Just like observing that sailboat on the horizon—it looks calm, but beneath the surface is a different story altogether.

The Late Night Muse

When I wrote this, it was another insomniac kind of night. 2 AM is the best time for me to write. With a clear head and a pure heart, ideas flow in a near-manic stream that will need heavy edits later for coherence. Yes, I wake up at 2 AM and pour my thoughts into a laptop, only to question them later and cut half of what I wrote. I wake up and promise myself I won't do this again.

Why am I awake? I wish I could claim to be a tortured creative soul, but that’s not the case. My four cats and a dog demand attention, distracting me from sleep. I got up for a midnight pee, only to find my dog awake and demanding food. Three cats realized I was moving around, wanting to go sit on the porch. Meanwhile, my fourth cat insisted on cuddling, digging his sharp little claws into my flesh.

Midnight Tales and Small Town Life

2 AM represents a binary choice between night and morning. If you wake up and realize you must stay awake all day, it takes a lot of courage and an unhealthy amount of caffeine.

In a small town, my mother always told me nothing good happens after midnight. I agree, having grown up in a town that had more cows than people. I doubt there’s even a 24-hour restaurant there.

2 AM at a party can be quite fun. By this time, the casual drinkers have crashed, and those looking for a hookup either got lucky or resigned themselves to sleep. But for the hardcore party-goers, 2 AM is decision time: commit to seeing the sunrise or admit defeat and call it a night.

A good party accommodates the late-night crowd. It acknowledges the pent-up need for fun, letting loose and having a great time. The merit of such an event should be measured on more than simply whether a person got laid.

The Lifestyle Economy

Shifting gears, let's talk about the lifestyle economy. The lifestyle economy may be hidden to the vanilla world, but it’s thriving. I've encountered people working hard to put on events, lead groups, or throw phenomenal parties, whether for that 2 AM crowd or just the curious.

Since starting this podcast, I’ve met countless individuals from this lifestyle economy—from concierge sex toy providers to hotel takeover maestros. I’ve engaged with business owners from across the Atlantic and even learned about Australia’s wild side. However, finding actual figures on the worth of this economy is surprisingly elusive. Let’s just say it’s in the billions.

When we were vanilla, I had no idea this world existed. The only lifestyle-related business I had heard of was swinger cruises, which are massive endeavors attracting thousands. Their marketing tends to spill over into vanilla spaces, tempting folks to learn more about the lifestyle.

Understanding Events

Most lifestyle events—whether they’re takeovers, parties, or educational webinars—have a unique way of operating outside the vanilla radar. They often require careful marketing that avoids using the word "swinger."

In my view, the shift from "swinger" to "lifestyle" reflects businesses' needs. "Swinger" carries heavy connotations, making it a target for anyone with a badge and power. In Las Vegas—marketed as a den of debauchery—different law enforcement agencies can shut down an event.

Notably, fire marshals, who ensure crowd safety, have the authority to enforce codes that could close down an event because of a simple miscount. Local authorities can threaten liquor licenses, lawsuits, or even civil penalties for violations, potentially wreaking havoc on a business.

Navigating Challenges

People who organize events navigate a complex web of bureaucracy that many don’t understand. It isn’t as simple as throwing an event and waiting for guests to arrive. For instance, I launched my first course, "The Single Men’s Guide to the Lifestyle," now available for only $45 at thatotherlifestyle.com. While preparing my next course, "The Guide to Unicorn Hunting," I also have to manage the annoyances of taking payments.

Surprisingly, credit card transactions can be challenging for a lifestyle business. When I first started, my account was disabled due to claims I was offering dating services. This was frustrating, particularly as I had to pivot and choose different language to skirt the edges of acceptable behavior.

The Pain of Payment Processing

Many lifestyle businesses struggle with credit card processing. Traditional processors often have strict policies against businesses associated with dating or lifestyles outside the norm. The result? You play a constant game of whack-a-mole with processors, learning to morph language and business practices to fit within the lines of what’s acceptable.

This presents a significant challenge because, unlike other businesses, lifestyle ventures can’t freely advertise their services on social sites. Facebook ads won’t let you filter for swingers. This results in missed opportunities and wasted advertising dollars.

Marketing in the Lifestyle Ecosystem

The online dating platforms serve an essential purpose as community hubs. They allow for marketing, collaboration, and interaction, and they connect various services available in the lifestyle sphere. Their synergy creates a beautiful interplay of individuals and businesses working harmoniously to enhance our community.

However, consumers represent two distinct groups: those who participate in the lifestyle and the curious onlookers. The former appreciates niche offerings and events while the latter comes primarily for fantasy or voyeurism.

The Future of Lifestyle Businesses

Looking ahead, I predict that ethical non-monogamy will gain more mainstream attention. Over the last decade, polyamory has become more accepted in media and society. While swinging may not have the same ease of acceptance, any press we receive could be beneficial.

I foresee a rise in new apps catering to niche groups within the lifestyle community. There will undoubtedly be new events, takeovers, and clubs finding their footing in various regions needing a release for their local LS communities.

In closing, whether you’re involved in the lifestyle or observing from the sidelines, there’s much more to explore. Your engagement helps maintain the community, which flourishes because of committed individuals who respect the space and its boundaries. I appreciate your feedback and encourage you to contact me at host@thatotherlifestyle.com or visit thatotherlifestyle.com.

Please remember that while this podcast shares personal experiences and perspectives, it serves as entertainment. Thank you for joining today, and remember that STI testing is essential for a healthy community. Go to STDHero.com using my promo code TOL10 for 10% off your order.

Whatever you do today, I hope you enjoy it fully. You are appreciated and loved. Have a fantastic day!