I went to Naught in New Orleans

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to That Other Lifestyle podcast. I am your host Jayson, leave Vanilla behind as I talk about getting Naughty at Naughty in New Orleans.

This podcast is for adults only. We’ll be diving into adult and sexual topics with plenty of colorful language, so it’s not safe for work. If you’re under 18, this isn’t the place for you. This show is all about exploring the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy, and it’s open to everyone no matter your background, gender identity, expression, or personal truth. While I do my best to use inclusive language, you might hear terms like husband, wife, or partner for simplicity’s sake. This show is for everyone, lifestyle, vanilla, or the curious.

Want to connect? Send me an email to host@thatotherlifestyle.com, visit my website at thatotherlifestyle.com. Everyone is welcome here because the lifestyle is about so much more than you think.

Hello. Catching up on everything this week. Last week I did not put out an episode because I was at Naughty in New Orleans. We got to go with STDHero, and I wanted to focus all my mental bandwidth on that trip. So, apologies no episode last week but making it up with an episode this week.  I know you want to know about Naughty, and I will share my take on the event. I also wanted to share deeper thoughts about events in general and how you can find the right event for you.

This is not going to be a play by play diatribe about what and who we did at Naughty. I am not going to slip into my excited feminine voice and tell you “Oh my God. We had so much fun and this happened and then this happened and then we did this.” Not my style.  Let’s get the hype out the way. We had fun. I recommend this event.

Every lifestyle event is different. Events may lean into bar takeovers and that is all they are despite dressing it up with a fancy invite or they cater to different vibes and styles of swinging that are out there. And we have gone to a lot of events this year, experienced a lot of different kinds of events and I want to help you figure out where to spend your time and money for the most fun you are after.

Every couple out there enjoys different kinds of events. I have friends who love chilling on their back porch with a small group of friends. Other people want to be surrounded by 3000 potential fuck partners. Some people really dig the resorts where they can cut loose and not worry about running into anyone from home. Need to be realistic. There are only so many weekends in the year for you to plan and do your heathen fun so knowing what kind of event you are walking into, picking the kind of event you want, matters a lot.

I hear from people that the big events with hundreds or thousands of people are intimidating. Don’t be. You will not be lining up at the start of the event and shaking hands with all 3000 people. You will not be interacting with all 3000 people. Yes, big events can be overwhelming, but if you go in with a plan it helps. Understand your social battery limits.

Social batteries. Going down this thread for a minute. We all have social batteries. People may have big batteries that can handle being “on” for days and days. Others, ten minutes they tap out and retreat to a quiet spot. And then there are people who are just looking for the pets to hang out with at parties. We all have different tolerances for social interaction. My wife has a much smaller social battery than me. I thrive in large events and large crowds, she does not. She prefers small intimate gatherings where I personally struggle at those. We are constantly talking and trying to find the balance between us and compromising on our choice of outings. We may opt for a big event for me, knowing that I will need to be cognizant of her limitations. Or if we go to a house party, she knows my social limits for direct sustained interaction with people. Balance.

Plan out what you want to get out of an event, not just what you will attend. Are you looking for a quick hookup? Are you looking to make new friends? Are you looking to just cut loose for the weekend? Have a conversation today with your spouse about what you both like and want and don’t like. Have a conversation about your social batteries too. This will help you narrow down the type of events you want to attend.

I am a big fan of Risque events, you hear me run their commercials all the time. The parties are relatively close to home, we have a hotel to stay at, I like the community and vibe. But a rave might not be for everyone. You might want a beach or something relaxing like a resort. And that’s okay. You don’t have to like the same thing as I do just like you don’t have to fuck everyone you meet in the Lifestyle.

For events, you are committing time and money. We can make more money, but you can’t get more time. Time is so valuable and going to the wrong kind of event for you is a waste. If you like sex clubs, then why are you going to a beach party? If you are looking to get laid tonight, then a rave might not be the best option. So many different ways we party and connect in the lifestyle, and I hear people get frustrated with events they go to. They make disparaging comments that oh I didn’t get laid, so it wasn’t a good event.

That’s bullshit. Two people can go to the same party, one person has a blast and the other doesn’t. For one person the party meets or exceeds their expectations and for the other the party is a bust. That is because there two people probably went into an event with different expectations. Your expectations have to align with what you are doing. If you a chance to get laid, go to a sex club, not a bar meetup. Be honest with what you are wanting when you are looking at your calendar.

To Naughty in New Orleans credit, they do a little bit of everything. From parties to bars to playrooms to education, no matter who you are, you can find a piece of Naughty for you. We enjoyed our time at Naughty. It’s a cool event that I feel good about recommending and you will hear me try to sell tickets for it so I can earn a booth for next year. Buy tickets from me.

I need to explain what Naughty in New Orleans is, Naught in New Orleans is official name and henceforth I will refer to it as Naughty to save on word count. There are a couple of big swinger or lifestyle events that happen in the states every year. These are huge hotel takeovers that attract thousands of people. The granddaddy of them all is Naughty. It has been running for decades, and they have this event down to science. This event has been featured in new stories and maybe a movie.

Naughty is a three hotel takeover in New Orleans Louisiana that attracts people from all over the world. Shout out to the nice lady I met from Iceland. Ya’ll, know I like to give out specifics on stuff so here goes. The main hotel is a full takeover on the corner of the world-famous Bourbon St. Bourbon St. is one of those places on this planet that lives up to it’s reputation.

I have heard stories of people going to Disneyworld and being so disappointed they get depressed. Not Bourbon St. It is a mile, maybe two of bars. Every kind of bar you can think of. And liquor. So much liquor. The bricks in that street have tripped up drunks for centuries. There is a history here. A smelly history that should only be experienced in closed toe shoes. Please for the love of all that is holy, wear closed toe shoes on Bourbon St.

Naughty has two other hotels that are about a block away and thankfully there is a shuttle running to save you the walk in 110 Degree Fahrenheit days with 90% humidity. New Orleans is fucking hot. As someone from the American deep south, yes New Orleans is fucking hot this time of year. Dress accordingly. Yes, you may look dapper in a suit and tie, but you will sweat through it in two minutes. Wear shorts and T-shirts. Go casual. I enjoyed that at Naughty I could run around shirtless all day. Showing off the arms.

The appeal of Naughty is both the size and location, and other factors. One at a time. Size. This event is big. This event is fucking huge. I have never seen this many heathens in one spot in my life. I don’t know if we have this many heathens collectively in the state where I live. Lots of different types of people.

Naughty is famous for swingers and swinger type people. But it does attract other alternative lifestyles like poly or bdsm or kink or curious people. So, it should not be locked in to just a swinger event in air quotes. Two of the coolest people we met were a gay couple selling soap. Apparently, I am considered a soft dom daddy. Which was neat to learn.

Did we have fun? Yes. Would we go again? Yeah. I consider it one of the better events we have been. Is it right for you? I don’t know. Keep listening. Let’s talk about what all Naughty offers, and you can decide. Plus, I can drop in random insights into events along the way.

Back to the story. During the day, Naughty offers education seminars taught by experienced teachers and practitioners and experts. There was naked yoga in the morning, STDHero did a session on STI testing, tantric massage, communication in relationships. So wide range of things to learn about.

Also, during the day there are bar takeovers. These are private events just for the Naughty crowd held in bars on Bourbon St. Remember I said there were miles of bars on Bourbon? You are going to be on your feet all day long so wear comfortable shoes. Leave the fucking heels in your hotel room. Skip being cute, dressing to survive. There are bar takeovers. Multiple a day. You can jump from bar to bar all afternoon.

Bar takeovers for me. Not the biggest fan, but that has more to do with being in bars than anything else. This is my own opinion here. Some people really dig them. Some people are ambivalent. I am in the latter category. We live close enough to New Orleans, if I really want that experience, I can have it any weekend. I do see the appeal for someone from the other side of the country with very strict liquor laws that freak the hell out if they can drink on the street. For me, bar meetups are lower on my list of preferred activities. It’s loud and I have a generally soft voice that does not carry well in loud environments. That’s me though. After years of doing all this, I can make an educated assessment of what I like.

Las Vegas may advertise itself as this adult playground of sophistication and style. New Orleans is not. New Orleans is your cool older brother with a hot rod and a cassette of Lynard Skynard that pulls you out of school on Tuesday afternoon to go shoot guns at the old quarry. New Orleans is the town that will welcome you, your money, your sins and never be satisfied.

Does this appeal to you? I am biased because I have been there many times for many reasons. New Orleans is a playground of debauchery that will let you indulge whatever alcohol fueled fantasy you have. New Orleans is very welcoming city for alternative lifestyles and swingers and whatever you call yourself.

One item to note. The crime. New Orleans has a reputation for being dangerous or heavy crime. Our shuttle driver put it best, every large city has crime. To New Orleans credit, Bourbon St. is crawling with cops. They are everywhere. In uniform, undercover, hidden. I can’t guarantee anything, but they do try to keep the tourists safe.

Tourists. Remember that. You are a tourist in this city that lives off tourism dollars. Tip. Tip, well. As quoted from my favorite book, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, never burn the locals. For Naughty, you get a lanyard. This lanyard lets you get into the hotels because they lock them bitches down so no vanilla people can get it. To the event security’s credit, I saw people try to enter the hotels and get turned back because they didn’t have the lanyards. I felt good about that. I don’t want vanillas running around gawking at us.

It’s funny there were social media clips coming out of New Orleans from the locals telling people to avoid people with the lanyard because they are swingers. So yeah, the locals know what the fuck we are doing. And no one cares. New Orleans will accept you with open arms. I get people who will have hesitation openly walking around declaring to the world that you are into an alternative lifestyle, but no one cares. No one fucking cares. The locals have seen it all. It is highly unlikely you will run into your neighbor on the streets of New Orleans and get outed unless they are down here for the same reason as you.

For Bourbon St. When you are walking around, you are going to stick out like a sore thumb among the locals, probably because you have on a lanyard. There is a scam that is very popular on Bourbon St. and three different people tried it on me. The way it goes, random person will walk up and say “hey I like your shoes. I bet you 10 dollars I can tell you where you got them?” despite being intrigued by this strangers confidence and supposed clairvoyant abilities, do not answer. Because if you accept the bet, they will say every time “You got your shoes on your feet”. Then they will try to shake you down for the money you bet. Don’t fall for this. As you are walking, you may be approached, and you either say I know that trick or I’m a local and keep walking. This is not unusual. Every big city has a variation of this. Fair warning here.

I went off on a tangent there. Bar takeovers. If you dig bars, dig the atmosphere and the environment, there are plenty for you. All afternoon. Which brings me to a bit of advice. Pace yourself. If you get up at noon, spend all afternoon in a bar with shitty air conditioning, then eat the most unhealthy food on the planet, then party all night, you will burn out fast.

New Orleans is not known for their heart healthy food options. The food is amazing, but it will kill you. Maybe not that extreme but if you ain’t used to eating it, yeah it will cause gastrointestinal distress. Bring your stomach meds.

At night there are parties and the playrooms with an S that open up. Let’s delay explaining the playrooms a minute because I am a dick. The parties. Two ballrooms. One plays Top 40/Hip Hop the other plays EDM music. You have been to these kinds of parties. Dance floor is full of people, DJs were great.  

We went to Naughty with STDHero. Wonderful company and this is your reminder to go get tested. Use promo code TOL15 at checkout for 15% off your order with stdhero.com. If you did go to Naughty, go get tested. Not to infer anything but go get tested.

STDHero, our booth was right on the main hallways between the two ballrooms and the elevators to the play floor. Great spot to stand and take in the crowd. The crowd. There are all shapes and sizes and ages of humanity on display and attending this event. But Jayson, what about people that are my age specifically or that I might be attracted to? Let me repeat. There are all shapes, sizes and ages that attend this event. I promise you will find a couple you are attracted to. I can guarantee that to you. Can’t guarantee you will get laid, but you can at least find a couple that you are attracted to.

To STDHero’s credit, the owner’s credit, they came with us. They were right there in the deep with us. I respect them for wanting and being a part of our community. That matters to me. There are companies, not just testing companies, which sell into the community but keep a respectable distance. They want our money but don’t want to be associated with our heathen ways. Not STDHero. They were there. They were handing out beads and cards with us. They love the Lifestyle events because we are a welcoming community that defers all expectations.

Did I mention the playrooms? Ha. Not talking about that yet.  I want to talk about the dungeon first. There was a bdsm dungeon set up at the other hotel. That hotel’s ballroom was turned into a fetish paradise. I have a new appreciation for BDSM. I respect it, I know a little bit about it. This was top notch and opened my eyes. I understand the appeal and maybe I will dip my toes in a little bit.

BDSM for me, it is a craft and a skill. What irks the living piss out of me is a swinger gets a paddle or a fucking heavy flogger and decides they want to whack every fucking person within six feet cause it’s funny. No. Do not hit me without consent. Do not hit my wife without consent. Real BDSM practitioners will never strike another person without an in-depth conversation about consent. Just because we are on the dance floor together does not give anyone consent to hit another person.

BDSM is way more than just hitting people too. There are variations. The media does a horrible job of portraying this art form. You see people on tv get strung up and hit with a whip for 30 seconds. Okay that could happen but it’s the extreme. Just like the Lifestyle, BDSM gets a bad rap in the media.

I got educated while I was there. I learned about soft BDSM, sensual play, different kinds of floggers, the weight matters, the material matters. The different sensations that can be created with a willing submissive and an experienced dom.

What’s nice about these big events with education pieces is you can learn and get exposed to new sex experiences or styles or play styles. I appreciate it. Instead of running straight to the playrooms, I will talk about those, take time to explore. Explore what else a convention might offer. Even if you have zero interest in something, go. Check it out.

I find with these big events there is a difficult choice of words here, a focus on fucking. You show up, you pay the money, you want to get fucked nine ways to Sunday and go home. That is a valid way to experience this. Totally valid. For me I want more. I want more substance in my relationships with people. I want more substance from my experiences. And if you are looking for more than yeah Naughty could be a good fit because it does offer more.

Playrooms. I know that piqued your interest. You want to know about the place that had all the fucking. I admit I did not see the playrooms in action. Not our vibe in there. But I did take a tour. It was like a heathen haunted house, a Willy Wonka factory of soft lights or no lights and sex toys and prophylactics.

For Naughty and granted this may change so don’t hold me to this description, and I don’t know what previous years had. This is for 2025 specifically. The year I went and saw and now sharing. The entire second floor of the one of the towers of the hotel was turned into a play floor. Each hotel room on the floor was turned into a play room. Get off the elevator and there were signs explaining consent which I like. Even the staff for the event, who were fantastic, had notes about consent on their shirts.

Leaving the elevator there is a credenza covered in lube and condoms. The little group we were with got lost as hell because it just kept going. According to the rules you had to be naked or wearing a towel to progress down the hall once the action started. So pro tip, bring a big towel from home. Yes, the hotel has towels, but I would feel better with a beach towel wrapped around myself than a small hotel towel. And don’t lose your towel. Always bring a towel. Hopefully someone gets that reference.

This was different than other playrooms that we have seen in that there is an attendant for every room, cleaning up, changing out sheets. I like that. Some places it is the honor system and that feels sketchy. I can’t tell you how many playrooms there are.

Some highlights. There was a pitch-black room. No lights. Zero light in this room except for the soft ambient lighting pouring in the from the door. I can see the appeal of anonymous bodies piled up and no clue who is touching what. Probably not a good fit for anyone who does not at least entertain the possibility of someone from the same sex touching them because that seems inevitable in that room.

Another room was devoted to bisexual play. They called it out. Every bed had to have some kind of bisexual play going on.

There were standard playrooms. Bed lined up with curtains for whatever fuckery was going to happen on them. Standard rules apply with the curtains. Curtain closed, leave them alone, sheer curtain, you can watch. No curtain you can watch and possibly join in. Again, I like having an attendant there to keep the peace and maintain order. I will admit, I have tried public play before. One time. In that moment didn’t feel like my jam but that may change if we ever try it again. Our time at naughty we wanted to party so that is where we focused but I know those playrooms were packed. The first night you couldn’t get on the elevator. Every single elevator car was stuffed with naked sweaty swingers in various states of disrobe and clinging to towels.

I will say confidently, if you are looking for no strings attached sex. Looking to just get it in. Yeah, these playrooms would be your jam. By law of numbers and averages, yes you can find someone on that floor willing to have sex with you. That sounds terrible.

This is the perfect event for once a year or vacation swingers or lifestyle people. If you are looking for one week in the States, that does not require a passport, somewhere to go to have fun, Naughty is a good fit.

Who is Naughty a good fit for? I want to be honest with everyone. I do plan on selling tickets now for this event because I have been. I can give an honest and fair assessment of it. I think it is worth the money. It does require planning ahead of time and forethought. Figuring out what you want out of an event this size. I like that there are lots of ways to experience this outside of fuckery.

If you want a full-fledged well rounded sex positive convention because that is what it is. It’s like a comic con for heathens. This is a good comparison. Comic con. Let’s go with that. Before the lifestyle, my wife and I were big into comic cons. We collect comic book art and vintage toys. Unfortunately, the lifestyle sucks away all of our time, so we don’t have as many weekends to go do that instead. Comic cons. Very similar. I know I may have turned people off by this comparison and someone else may get.

There is vendor spaces, nowhere as robust as an actual comic con or a dedicated trade show sex convention like Exotica or AVN. I met a super cool couple selling soaps and fragrances. Learned a lot from them about kink and alternative lifestyles. Which for me is the appeal of Naughty. I can break out of the swinger mold and there is most definitely a swinger vibe that exists at events. I enjoy learning about alternative ways to experience sex and passion.

There are seminars and education sessions available. Which again get the fuck out of bed before two pm and go to a session. Learn something while you are there. Which leads me to pacing yourself.

Naughty is a four day event, maybe seven if you come into town early. Officially Wednesday to Saturday night. This is a lot. This is even more because it is in New Orleans in the dead ass middle of summer. If you are not from a hot humid area I cannot stress how much the atmosphere can drain, you. It is not unusual for there to be summer showers every day. This is normal. Talking apocalyptic deluges of water falling from the sky for ten minutes, then nothing. Dry. The humidity consistently is in the high 80s or 90s. I am such a nerd using this valuable time to talk about the weather.

The parties go till 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning. And then the bar parties start back up again at 12. You could do this as an endurance run of stupid decisions. Go non-stop, little sleep, caffeine is your friend and push yourself. It’s funny, my wife and I were in the elevator at our hotel multiple times, exhausted and people would tell us, it’s a marathon not a sprint. I’m looking at them like yeah motherfuckers I know. I do a podcast about all this.

We would help out at the STDHero booth in the mornings, do a bar meetup, catch a cat nap, get dressed then show up for the parties. Cat naps are your friend. You don’t need a full eight hours. You just need enough sleep to keep going.

Another tip to share. And this is credit to my wife. And it applies to any takeover with multiple hotels. Outfits. Let’s set the stage. My wife has a very sexy lingerie set and these banging high heels she wanted to wear. And usually as a night will progress, she will change into a lingerie set and her flowing robe to float around a dance floor. If we are at a single hotel takeover like Risque, this is not a problem. We can go to the party in our outfits for the theme, take our pictures, she can wear the most uncomfortable shoes imaginable and it’s no big deal. We make our appearance then we can go back to our room to change into more comfortable outfits for the rest of the party. That works for single hotel takeovers.

Naughty is a mutli hotel takeover. Understandably so, you can’t fit everyone into one building. The hotel we stayed at was two blocks away. Which meant we had to go in public. There was a shuttle running back and forth between the hotels. So thankful for that shuttle and the really cool and understanding shuttle drivers. Still, we had to leave the main hotel, walk down the sidewalk and get onto the shuttle. Which means for us, we could not easily go change. The whole ride between the hotels might take an hour, which pulled us away from the party. May not be a concern for everyone, but I am here to party damn it. I want loud music to be surrounded by dancing people. It’s a consideration I want to put out into the universe for everyone. Think about how those shoes are going to feel after being on your feet for two hours. Blisters are not worth the look.

For us personally, did we have fun? Yes. Would we go back? Yes. We didn’t work the whole time. We did meet local couples to our area. This event pulls in people from all over the world so stumbling across couples that we could hopefully hang out with again was nice. Didn’t go all in on the fuckery. Don’t have any stories about that. I know it happened. I saw so many trimex engorged dicks running around.

We went to this event as podcasters and with STDHero. That was our goal. I wanted to experience this event for the first time, detached, taking it all in.

I did have one weird encounter. We were by the STDHero booth. I think it was Thursday. Time was a blur of sun up, sun down the whole convention. Thursday night, this guy walks up. Shakes my hand and introduces himself. His name was David. He said he was a big fan of my show. Appreciated the care I put into my episodes. And my brain fucking shut down. It happens. I can’t cover it very well. My wife, being the gracious angel she is stepped in and helped smooth over the interaction. I don’t know if this man was real. I never saw him again. And I wanted to see him again. As proof that someone listens to my show. At this point, I think he was an angel showing up to boost my ego. David if you are out there. I see you. I acknowledge you and that conversation, however one sided it may have been, means the world to me.

Do I have sexy stories from Naughty to share with you? I kissed two sexy ladies. That was the extent of my relations. I share that to say, you don’t have to do anything sexual at these events. Another critique I hear about large events and it’s a weird one, there is subconscious pressure to participate in the shenanigans. Like the playrooms are hypnotic candles of debauchery and we are merely lost moths bouncing near the flame. That’s not true.

People have full body autonomy at this event, at any event, on a date or with another couple. No one should pressure you into anything you are not comfortable with. I found the entire Naughty crowd to be very respectful. I was not groped without my consent, which has fucking happened before. I have this bdsm harness with a metal loop on the chest. I worry about wearing it at these events because I have had bad experiences.

We were on a cruise last year and a random woman walked up, clipped a leash to the metal ring and tried to pull me around. I gave her the what the fuck do you think you are doing look, unclipped myself and continued to give her the what the fuck do you thinking you are doing look while she backed away. I am not generally a dick, I promise. People who have met me will most likely say I am not a dick. I don’t like that. It is literally the argument of strangers are allowed to treat me a certain way based on the way I am dressed. No. We are better than that. And the crowd at Naughty was better than that.

I cannot speak for every single person’s experience there. I can speak for me and my wife’s experience, and we found the crowd very respectful. People asking before touching or kissing, which I like.

I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics, so feel free to reach out to me at host@thatotherlifestyle.com. My website is thatotherlifestyle.com.

Should you try out Naughty if you can? Yes. No matter what you are looking for in a lifestyle experience, you will find it there. I put it in the same category as doing a resort or a cruise. It’s nice to try at least once and see what the big deal is. As I said I will start selling tickets. You can find the link on my website thatotherlifestyle.com for the 2026 events. Buy tickets. Support the show. I want to earn my own booth next year.

My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I am a guy with a microphone, sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and please join us for the next episode. Remember STI testing is important and takes a community to make a difference.  Go to STDHero.com and use my promo code TOL15 for 15% your order.

Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it. Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.