Episode 73 - Splash and why do we do this.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to That Other Lifestyle podcast. I am your host Jayson, leave Vanilla behind as I talk about Splash Houston and why do we do what we do.

This podcast is for adults only. We’ll be diving into adult and sexual topics with plenty of colorful language, so it’s not safe for work. If you’re under 18, this isn’t the place for you. This show is all about exploring the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy, and it’s open to everyone no matter your background, gender identity, expression, or personal truth. While I do my best to use inclusive language, you might hear terms like husband, wife, or partner for simplicity’s sake. This show is for everyone, lifestyle, vanilla, or the curious.

Want to connect? Send me an email to host@thatotherlifestyle.com, visit my website at thatotherlifestyle.com. Everyone is welcome here because the lifestyle is about so much more than you think.

Elevators. I always talk about elevators. They are the momentary liminal spaces between worlds. The known and unknown. Vertical portals to the other side. This time around, the steel surfaces in the elevator catch the light reflecting from my sequined vest turning me into a walking disco ball. A few steps later I am standing still, in a sea of people, flowing around me. Staring into nothing. A rock in the ocean. A leaf floating in the river. My wife catches me with my thousand-yard stare. She knows that look. The look of processing. I am answering a question I have not been asked tonight. Asked before sure, not tonight. Tonight no one questions this.

Tonight no one questions because they are living it. They are in the moment, living, laughing, being. Questions by nature want to define, split, analyze, change, mutate. There are no questions here tonight except for coy glances and plans for later.

What lust lurks in a look? When dark eyes flash across the dance floor in my direction, do I follow? There is a question. There is a question trying to define the possibility of here and now. One answer leads to conversation. The other answer to well nothing, no connection. What lust lurks in her look? A body of fire wrapped in chains, moving through the crowd, her haunting eyes upon me. And I am shiny, and I am glorious. Is her gaze because she notices me, hunting me? Or merely a result of lights playing across my chest.

Three women walk in front of me, and I lose this dark eyed vixen to the crowd. She slips onto the dance floor, lost again in the humans. I stared a tiger in the eyes and did not flinch. Am I brave for being wary or stupid for being cautious? Another question. Another answer I will not know. Better to leave some questions at the door of these kinds of events. What could have been? What should have been? Would it have been magic or disappointment? Maybe at times like this I prefer to let the moment hang in the air, a star in a galaxy instead of a diamond in my hand. Questions. Questions about what we do and why we do it. That is where my brain was wondering before I was derailed by a pretty smile and a chain dress.

Why do we do what we do? Why do we travel across the country for these moments? Brief as they may be. Why do we do it? It is a question I have been pondering for weeks now. Through my own rough recent journey in the lifestyle which I can share more about in another episode. Why are we all addicted to this drug? This temporary satiation of carnal desires, of escape, of freedom. That makes it a drug in some way. You take a hit, leave yourself for a while then come back the next morning. Is it the sex? Or is there more? Again, questions I have been asking myself recently.

My mind wanders as it always does, even with 130 decibels of sounds being drummed into my skull. I at least have a small answer to the why, not the big answer. I haven’t found the big answer yet.

Gathered here in a hotel in Houston is a congregation, a united community. A group of adults who dress up, be free, fuck, drink, dance, live. Hundreds gather to not be adults for a fucking weekend, of fucking possibly. To leave the vanilla world behind and be free.

You may have noticed that I didn’t do an episode last week. That is because we went to Splash Houston. I know people noticed I didn’t do an episode last week because I met fans of the show who mentioned that Thursday afternoon, they didn’t have an episode to listen to on their way to Splash. Apologies to everyone. I know my output has been spotty this summer.

The primary reason is we have been busy. Between Naughty and now Splash, that severely cuts into my personal time to write. Oh, but what about interviews, you could do interviews. Okay here is the deal I tried. I wanted to do a couple of interviews this summer to alleviate the pressure and nope, fuck me a running, nope. They all fell through. The day before I publish the episode, the interviewee cancels. Fuck me.

And honestly some weeks, just don’t have it in me. I made a commitment when I started to do weekly episodes, and I have been pretty good at that. I will be honest with everyone, everyone who listens, everyone who I will never meet from all around the world. This summer has been rough. My mental health has taken a very bad turn for the worse and while I am getting better, it’s hard to find joy when everything is so dark.

I plan on doing an episode about it. Sharing with everyone because fuck it why not. I know the things I have struggled with and struggle with, other people do too. And I don’t want you to be alone. Enough of that shit. Back to the story.

Thursday last week, we were flying to Houston, Texas.

Friday night, standing in the ballroom at Splash, flashing lights everywhere, watching this crowd dance and smile, a question popped in my head. At some point, someone in the vanilla world has asked me why? What is the appeal of the Lifestyle? Is it all about fucking? Is it cheating with permission? Why do we do this?

We do this to have fun. We do this to experience joy and happiness. We do this to have a reason to dress up. We do this to celebrate sex and our humanity. That Friday night, I saw on full display all the goodness that the Lifestyle can bring to a person’s life. Splash was fantastic and I will tell you more about it this episode. That thought though resonated with me. Pretty sure I was vibrating more from the music though.

Guess I need to tell you about Splash so I can set the stage for my ramblings later about the nature of the lifestyle. We went to Splash Houston. There is another Splash event in Ft. Lauderdale in September 2025 which is supposed to be even bigger than the event we went to. I highly recommend you check that out. I will be selling tickets for splash events shortly on my website, thatotherlifestyle.com. You can also get tickets for Naughty in New Orleans 2026 from me. Do it. Buy the tickets from Jayson. Support the show.

What is Splash? You may have heard of it. Well, Splash is the name of group of takeovers in the Southeast USA. There is Splash Atlanta, Houston, Ft. Lauderdale and Splash Mocha. The website is Splashtakeovers.com.

Splash Houston, this is a full hotel takeover in Houston Texas, hence the name. Full takeover is great because that means we don’t have to worry about the vanilla crowd gawking at us and I don’t have to worry about a vanilla family on a vacation staring at me in the elevator, see one of my earlier episodes.

The party started on Thursday and wrapped up late Saturday night. A cool note about Splash. The tickets include both the event and hotel for one price, all in. You get the room and access to the property for the weekend. Hotel was great. Comfy beds and good water pressure in the shower. Yes, I notice these things.

Overall, let me spoil the ending now. Splash I feel is worth it. Worth the price. Worth traveling for. Very well done. We are very happy we have got to attend and plan on going to more Splash takeovers in the future. That’s my plug for them.

For us, one of the big draws of Splash this time around is the fact that it is not local. I love my local LS community. I have friends that I consider family and would happily give them a kidney. Every now and then, you want something different. Go somewhere new. Go to a big event. It’s an itch I get. Wanderlust maybe. The urge to load up and drive to the far corner of the map just to see what is over there. It’s in my soul. I always want to know what is down that dirt road I see. When I played video games, I would completely ruin the experience because I had more fun exploring the map than I did doing any quests.

The lifestyle gives us the ability to indulge that wanderlust, if we are brave enough or foolish enough. Be brave, damn it. Have more balls than brains. Take the ride. Take the adventure. I talk to people who tell me they could never do what we do. Just pick an event and go without knowing anyone. Hello, I know whole chat groups that exist solely so people can have an entourage with them wherever they go of safe people to talk to. Fuck that. Be brave. Go find the horizon and don’t stop till you see boobies.

 For me, that was a big appeal of going to Splash in a different state. A new crowd, new vibe, new event. There are events that I consider my home. I feel comfortable there. I recommend them to everyone. The new though. Just like the lifestyle is all about doing new things, people, meeting new people, its nice to go to something new again.

When we started, everything was new. Then I feel, I did at least, or people do get stuck in ruts. Same people, same community. Same parties. The comfortable, the known, the safe. You walk into a room and already know all dynamics between couples, the drama, the stories, you know who you want to talk to. Is this bad? No. If that is your jam, go for it. Me, now at this point, it is time to fly damn it. It is time to remind myself why I enjoy the lifestyle. I want that adrenaline surge again. Break out of old patterns and find a new sunset to enjoy.

 It is nice to shake up life. It is nice to travel across the country and walk into an event, knowing no one. You get far enough away from home, that there is a very small, never zero chance of running into a person you know. I will admit even over in Houston, we still saw two couples we recognized from earlier events. Didn’t talk to them though.

Back to Splash. Splash takeovers offer an optional clothing pool party at all their events, more on that in a minute. They also have educational seminars, vendors like STDHero which we were representing and playrooms. Ohhh playrooms. I will not wait until the end of the episode to talk about the playrooms this time.

We get off the plane, get in the Uber and take a ride. The first thing that struck me about the event, before we unloaded our bags, was security. The whole property is closed. Can’t turn around in the parking lot, no this event is locked the fuck down. I like that. Security and security people around means safety. Overall, yeah, we felt safe and okay at this event. I felt safe for my wife at this event which means a lot, because we have been to shady and sketchy places that didn’t feel safe and comfortable. Splash top notch security. Kudos for creating a safe atmosphere.

That’s a big fucking deal to me. My wife is petite. I keep my eye on her. Super easy to lose her in stores since she is shorter than the clothing racks. I need to tie a balloon to her. We have walked about of events and parties and bar meetups ten minutes after arriving if my spider sense is going off. If it feels shady, bail. Splash, not at all. Spider sense stayed quiet all weekend.

One of the measures I have for events is do I feel comfortable leaving my wife alone on the dance floor to go to the bathroom? I know there are guys out there who have the same thought and the same question. Answer, yes, I did. I measure events weird.

We unload our bags. Yes, I am giving you a beat by beat travel story versus a sexy story. It’s my show and this is what I do. The second thing that impressed me with Splash was how organized it is. We walked in the lobby, there were booths and stations and people checked our IDs, seeing more security right there. Stellar organization. Another weird measure I have. At no point did I feel lost or question where I needed to go.

Like I said, full hotel takeover, first floor had a full-service restaurant which is fucking great. For someone who likes to eat and needs to eat, it meant we did not have to leave the hotel at all for three days. Breakfast, lunch and dinner were available. If you have ever been to Houston, you know getting anywhere in that town is a fucking bitch. 12 to 20 lane interstates everywhere. Having food on site made a huge difference for me.

First floor of the hotel also had seminar classes and the ballroom for the dancing. Second floor had playrooms, then all the guest floors further up. Every floor had signage explaining the rules, consent all that by the elevators. I appreciate that.

Thursday night we got settled in, had dinner, set up the STDHero booth and attended the dance party. I don’t know what else to call these things. There is a DJ and crazy lights in a ballroom. So, I guess dance party works. Tell you a funny story, we went to a takeover in another city earlier this year. And a conference room was converted into a playroom. People were fucking in there for days. Days. And one of my friends had a conference in the same hotel two weeks ago, in the same room. Yeah.

For those who are curious because I do get this question about events. Did people dress to the theme or costumes? There is a difference, and I like to know ahead of time which way an events leans so I know what to pack and wear. Usually, these events have a theme for the night, let’s say Fire and Ice because that was one of the themes. Dressing for the theme would mean women in a simple white dress and men in a red vest with slacks. You are dressing to the theme. Think simple outfits for this theme, fire and ice, which is a popular theme, you could go extravagant. I have seen people wear dresses made of popsicles and really play up the fire aspect with hair pieces and such. That means more costumes as I define it. I don’t want to say basic versus not basic, yeah that’s what I mean. The difference between me wearing a red vest and a red suit covered in sequins.

For Splash, this event, people went towards the costume side. I have been at events where we think it’s going to be costume, and we get a little bit too much with the outfits and then you walk into the party and realize everyone else went simple that.  Then you feel kind of weird being the only one who went all out and everyone else went simple.

Anyway. One of the big draws for Splash is the clothing optional pool parties. That’s where the name comes from. Splash. Pool. Naked pool.  You get to sit out by a pool as clothing optional as you want. Topless, sure. Bottomless, sure. Naked in the sun in full glory. Before anyone goes, what about people looking at us? This pool is surrounded by a 20 ft wall, so we had total privacy the whole time. They even put up privacy screens in the lobby so you couldn’t see anything even if you tried. I saw naked people. Naked happy people. Wear sunscreen. Your delicate and naughty bits have not seen the sun in a while. I love watching people get progressively redder as the event goes on.

One tip to offer, I know I have mentioned this before. Trading cards with your info as a couple are a great idea. For this though, cards are not always the best option. Cards get wet, people have to keep track of them, put them in a bag, lose them. We make bracelets. Silicone bracelets. I have a version for the podcast, and I have a version for our personal profile information. Lists out our names and our usernames on a couple of sites. Friendly tip.

You think, Oh Jayson, 200 hundred naked people by a pool, bet it got kind of sexy, and people were doing the sexy actions. No. Not at all. I don’t know if it is against the rules, I don’t know. I know I didn’t see it. There is a pervasive myth that when lifestyle people are naked anywhere, that sex will happen. I just want to point this out. I have been to vanilla pool parties that were wilder than this.

My wife wanted to point something to the ladies. Bikinis. Ladies, if you opt to wear a bikini, you can go as tiny as you. Got that super sexy bikini on sale two years ago and can’t wear it anywhere? This is the place. Thongs, strings, stickers. All are welcome.

This event pulls in people from all over the country. I don’t know if there were any international guests. As far as size, 200 or so, maybe a bit more. Not huge, not Naughty in New Orleans size or cruise size but enough people for it to feel lively and energetic. Definitely enough people for you to find your tribe and find people to talk to.

I am always curious when we go to events outside my area, what is the local LS community like in other parts of the country? I know big cities will have some kind of scene but not everyone lives in a big city. Some people live 30 miles outside of a town on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. People I talked to were honest and said they have no scene where they are so that’s another draw of Splash, you can meet and connect with a whole new crowd of people and get three whole days of LS fun. Here is a community of people and you can plug in.

I know when people think about LS vacations, the brain immediately jumps to a cruise or resort overseas. Yes, those are possibilities, and they offer their pros. Don’t sleep on regional takeovers please. These are fun events you should check out. I have been on an LS cruise, and I probably had more fun at Splash than the cruise. Why? Well, the hotel wasn’t fucking moving constantly making me seasick.

Besides being stationary, it feels less intense. Getting on a cruise, doing a cruise, getting off the cruise. All that is fucking intense. I liked this. I took a flight, uber to the hotel and I was done. Easy.

I find our community thrives at these regional takeovers. This is where we can meet new people in a low stress environment. I want to make a grand analogy about cruises and resorts being the marques of the lifestyle, the big draw, the big connectors. And I can’t think of a good one so please accept my shitty explanation here. Yes, cruises and resorts are important to the LS ecosystem, but these hotel takeovers are more important to keeping this ecosystem thriving. Not everyone can go on a cruise every year, but maybe you could swing a takeover. Connect with the community, build your own connections. Again, I wanted a great analogy, and I am tapped out. Definitely investigate parties in your area or state and give them a try. Or go to another state and meet new people.

There were playrooms. Four playrooms. One voyeur, one for fucking, another was a dungeon and another one for fucking. Playrooms are playrooms everywhere, unless it is at a resort with wild décor. There were playroom attendants, which I always appreciate. Kinda sketch to go to sex clubs and everything works on the honor system. Has this room been used tonight? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.

This event is everything you could want from an LS takeover. Everything is in one package for one price. And if you like communication and venues keeping in touch with you, yes. Splash does a fantastic job with the emails leading up to the event. Another point that I measure. Do I know what the fuck is going? Do I know enough to feel comfortable going? I like schedules and plans, damn it.

And fuck me, for us, it was nice to get out of the house. We did Naughty in New Orleans but that still felt too local. Even there we saw people we knew. It was nice to get away, get away to another state and meet a whole new crowd of people. Splash like other events do have regulars. If you ever go on a cruise or go to an event and wonder how in the hell all these people know each other already, cause they all go to the same event over and over again. You see the same faces, you make friends. That’s what happens. I know of friends that always take the same cruise every year and hang out the whole time.

We went to represent this podcast and STDHero. If you need discrete, easy and painless at home testing, use STDHero.com and use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order. I talked to a bunch of people about the show. To all those nice fans who said hi, hello. I appreciate you. Go tell your friends about the show. Tell them to listen too.

Going back to that moment I had on the dance floor, there is so much to the Lifestyle that people don’t get until they see it. Until they are in it. And yeah, I have seen playrooms full of human bodies fucking away. But that’s such a small part of this culture, small part of what we do.

It makes me happy to go to a new city, new events and people are friendly. My wife got so many compliments this past weekend. Genuine compliments from relative strangers. Women would stop my wife and tell her they liked her outfit or hair or something. That’s wild to think about. In the vanilla world, people don’t do that.

I wish I could tell you that we did a whole lot like when we went to Naughty but no this was very chill and definitely the trip we needed. Slept in, had breakfast and sat by the pool all day mingling. Had dinner and we danced. That was our weekend. And I liked it.

All too often in the Lifestyle, we keep wanting to top ourselves. We keep wanting to get another hit. Then another. Then we need a bigger hit. By that means bigger events, wilder events, wilder parties. Wilder couples. Sometimes it’s nice to just chill by a pool in the sun. Sometimes it is nice to go unwind by a pool all day.

If you want a wild orgy on a Saturday night, do it. If you want a chill day by a pool, do it. If you want to make close friendships, do it. One-night stands. Having a reason to get out of the house. Have a social life beyond your vanilla circle. To have a social life period. That’s the appeal of the lifestyle.

Yeah, people hear what we do and it’s immediately, sex sex sex. Outside of the playrooms we stuck our head in this past weekend, sex was not being shoved in our faces. I always stress to vanilla people, no one is fucking in the lobby of the hotel or on the dance floor.

There is so much I love about the lifestyle, and I see at all these events. I saw it at Splash and it’s not the boobies. Boobies are great though. Boobies are the best.

The community makes this. Being able to walk into a crowd of strangers and talk to them. People are friendly and welcoming in the lifestyle. Maybe I said this already, I’m not going back to check the script. There were no cliques. That’s a big one for me. Can’t fucking stand to go to an event or bar meetup and everyone is clustered together in their little friend group. Fuck everyone else in the world, this is our little clique that we feel comfortable with. If you are going to an event just to make a clique and not meet new people, what the fuck are you doing?

I remember talking in one of my early episodes about living in a world made of cardboard. To get nerdy, there was a cartoon in the early 2010s called Justice League Unlimited. Last episode Superman fights Darkseid. Great monologue from Superman about feeling like he is in a world made of cardboard. That he constantly has to keep himself in check, keep his strength in check because if he slips for one moment, he will hurt something or someone. But Darkside can take the punch, and this is a rare opportunity for Superman to cut loose.

Fuck me that resonates so hard in my soul. We live in a world made of cardboard. I live in a world made of cardboard. Constantly having to keep myself in check to keep the vanilla world comfortable. I can’t be my full authentic self in the vanilla world. At work I have to lie about what I do every weekend. To our family we have to create elaborate stories to cover up the fact we are never home on the weekends. I can’t even dress how I want in the vanilla world because someone might think I am too flashy or fabulous. No have to keep the vanillas calm and can’t disturb their precious peace.

This lifestyle makes me feel like Superman. When I am on, when I am full of swagger and confidence, I am brave. I am strong. I can fly. I am brave enough to walk up to any woman and introduce myself. And I felt that at Splash, I felt my own power coming back after months of taking all the punches and hit the lifestyle can throw at me. I felt confidence I have not felt in months returning, surging, flowing. A power that we all possess and mute, hide, bury, deny. No, you are fucking awesome, and I know it. You know it.

I was no longer surrounded by cardboard. No longer held back for fear. I want you to go to Splash. I want you to step into your own fucking power. Step into a version of yourself that exists within you, buried beneath a pile of paper, trapped by the world. Let your confidence flow. Know that you are special. And people will recognize that when you walk into a room because you will radiate. Splash is the chance for you to radiate and be noticed and be free.

I want to give a special shoutout to the volunteers that help to make Splash awesome. Ya’ll are great people and helped us have a great time. And Splash has the best swag bags.

I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics, so feel free to reach out to me at host@thatotherlifestyle.com. My website is thatotherlifestyle.com.

My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I am a guy with a microphone, sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and please join us for the next episode. Remember STI testing is important and takes a community to make a difference.  Go to STDHero.com and use my promo code TOL15 for 15% your order.

Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it. Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day.