Whether you're new to the swinging and lifestyle community or simply looking to brush up on terminology, understanding the lingo is key to navigating conversations and events with confidence. Below is a list of 20 essential terms frequently used in the lifestyle.
1. Swingers
Definition: Couples or singles who engage in sexual activities with other consenting adults. Swingers are typically focused on group or partner swapping experiences.
2. Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)
Definition: A broad term for relationships where all partners consent to multiple romantic or sexual connections. The key here is mutual consent and open communication.
3. Soft Swap
Definition: Involves sexual play, such as oral sex, between partners, but excludes full intercourse between non-primary partners. It's often a starting point for new swingers.
4. Full Swap
Definition: When two couples engage in complete partner swapping, including sexual intercourse, between non-primary partners.
5. Unicorn
Definition: A term referring to a single woman who is open to joining an existing couple for a threesome or other sexual experiences. Unicorns are often highly sought after in the lifestyle.
6. Bull
Definition: A single man who plays with a couple, often in a dominant role, particularly in relationships where the couple practices cuckolding or hotwifing.
7. Hotwife
Definition: A married woman who has sexual encounters with men outside her marriage, typically with her husband's encouragement. In this dynamic, the husband finds pleasure in watching or hearing about her experiences.
8. Cuckolding
Definition: A dynamic where a man derives pleasure from watching or knowing about his partner engaging in sexual activities with other men.
9. Veto Power
Definition: A relationship agreement where one partner has the ability to end or disallow another relationship or sexual encounter for any reason. This is common in polyamorous and swinger dynamics.
10. Polyamory
Definition: A form of ethical non-monogamy where individuals maintain multiple loving, romantic, and sometimes sexual relationships with the consent of everyone involved.
11. Open Relationship
Definition: A relationship structure where partners agree to engage in sexual activity with others outside of their primary relationship. However, emotional connections are typically reserved for the primary partnership.
12. Compersion
Definition: The opposite of jealousy; compersion refers to the feeling of happiness when seeing a partner experience pleasure or joy with someone else.
13. Newbie
Definition: Someone who is new to the lifestyle. Newbies often explore soft swap or attend beginner-friendly events as they get more comfortable in the community.
14. Play Party
Definition: A social event or gathering where consenting adults engage in sexual activities with others. These parties can range from low-key socializing to full-on sexual experiences.
15. Vanilla
Definition: Refers to individuals or relationships that are not involved in the lifestyle or BDSM. It often implies a more traditional or monogamous approach to relationships.
16. Closed Group
Definition: A group of swingers or polyamorous people who only engage with each other sexually. No new members are allowed into the group, keeping it exclusive and more intimate.
17. NRE (New Relationship Energy)
Definition: The heightened emotional state that comes with the excitement of a new relationship or new sexual partner. This can include feelings of infatuation, euphoria, and thrill.
18. LS
Definition: Short for “Lifestyle,” a common shorthand used in the community to refer to swinging or the broader non-monogamous community.
19. Polycule
Definition: The web or network of relationships among people who practice polyamory. Each connection within the polycule might have different dynamics, but everyone is linked in some way.
20. Kink
Definition: A broad term that refers to non-traditional sexual interests or activities, such as BDSM, fetish play, or power exchange dynamics. Many lifestyle events overlap with kink-friendly spaces.
Understanding these terms is just the first step to confidently navigating conversations and interactions within the lifestyle community. If you're curious to learn more or have questions about how these terms are used, check out our podcast episodes or join the conversation on our social media!
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